gregoriousone

Hello fellow deviants. So I have a favor to ask anyone out there who has purchased a print of mine, I'd love  to see what you did with it. where you hung it, just curious you know? So if you bought something and wouldn't mind indulging me snap a pic with your phone and email it to me.

thanks.

greg.

email: gregoriousone@gmail.com

hello out there in deviantartland.  So imagine my surprise when I log into dA today and find out that I received a daily deviation. I actually forgot that they still did those.
Was very surprised and and appreciate all the faves, and dev watches, and you all that other crap.

I have enjoyed the comments, i've been in kind of a creative slump and it's nice to see that people like your vision and enjoy the work that you produce.

The other thing that I really am amazed at it the quantity of prints I have been selling. Thank you Thank you Thank you all who have purchased something from my gallery. I've actually made a decent little profit this quarter. So once again thanks for your support--- it thrills me to think that there are copies of my work in homes and apartments and rooms all over the world. It's nice to know that people see the same things in my work that I do.. or at least enough to want to have it on their walls.

I've been asleep for far too long..I think I can feel myself starting to wake up, something stirring deep down inside.

hopefully. I don't like this dead version of me. the one that's quiet on the inside, the one who has lost his passion.

it's a funny ole life sometimes.

hello deviantartland. it's been a little while since I've written. thought I would check in, say hi, see how you've been. Things are feeling better here in gregoriousone land.  Summer went by way to quickly and I'm sad to see it end. For the first time in awhile I enjoyed myself-- I felt and looked healthier than I have for awhile. I got outside and played a lot in the sun.  It definitely help re energize me.

But now fall is starting to creep in and  I can feel it in the air. I'm not quire ready for it. I enjoyed how verdant and green and lush everything was this summer.. I'm not looking forward to dark and bare. Although I am looking forward to Halloween. I will be spending it in New Orleans once again this year. I am looking forward to seeing old friends.. and also going to be traveling with friends who are visiting for the first time-- so it will be fun to show off the city to them.

I'm still amazed at the amount of prints that I have been selling lately-- especially since I am not as active on here as I used to be. If you read this and you bought something of mine, I would like to thank you.

Time for me to go.. it's a beautiful saturday and the sun in shining.

hello out there in deviantartland to anyone that might be left listening. I haven't been the most attentive or interactive, or even productive member for awhile now. I still haunt the place-- and luckily have been selling more and more prints.. so to whoever out there keeps buying my stuff-- especially the big prints-- I thank you very much.

I haven't been around because somewhere somehow.. i lost confidence in myself as an artist... or maybe just in myself altogether. Im still trying to sort it out.

this last year and a half has taken a great emotional toll on me and it's left me feeling very lost. I didn't make a big deal out of the fact that almost a year ago i was very close to being dead.
I had ignored some symptoms and issues with my health and it unfortunately progressed to renal failure. So I was very close to being dead-- my potassium levels were quite high, i was retaining a ton of fluid and was bloated, i ran out breath just walking across the room-- due to a very low red blood cell count.. the kidneys release a hormone that tells the bones to do their thing and make more blood-- and when you are in renal failure and it's going untreated.. well your red blood cell count drops. a lot. like dangerously low.

So fast forward almost a year.. luckily i am in good health apart from renal failure. I now have to go to dialysis 3 days a week each treatment lasts 4hrs15minutes.  I start at 5:30 a.m. I am on a transplant list waiting for a kidney-- I do however have a friend who has my same blood type that has offered their one of their kidneys to me.  I haven't taken her up on the offer yet. She would have to go get tested to see if we are a match.  Part of me is afraid to find out. If she isn't a match the average wait for a kidney is around 3 years. The other part of me is afraid of the operation itself.. now im lucky enough to live in a city that pioneered this type of surgery and Pittsburgh's organ transplant center is one of the best in the country...but the surgery and recovery time scare me. I guess it's only natural to feel that way... but I just can't get past it.

So why am i writing about all this.. because with everything that has happened.. it has somehow deadened my creative spirit. I keep trying to reconnect to it.. to feel creative again.. but i don't.
I feel empty.
I feel drained (which isnt surprising since 3 days a week my blood is drained, cleaned, and put back)
I have so much anger inside me.... I miss my old life.  
So much has been stripped away this last year and half... my health started to deteriorate right after I moved to New Orleans....I couldn't find a job... I had to move back leaving my two closest friends down in New Orleans.

It doesn't help that the majority of people on dialysis are senior citizens and that I am one of the youngest dialysis patients in the clinic-- so im surrounded by a lot of people in worse shape than I am.

im going all over the place again. I just don't know anymore. I miss making art.
you would think I would feel happy to still be alive-- and I do.. and am. But it's had such a big effect on my life.. i need to find purpose again.
I have none.
that's really what this all boils down to.. is a lack of purpose or direction.
something or someone to fill up the emptiness.


peace.

-greg-